Good Face

Dwayne: "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"

- Little Miss Sunshine

I've just had what might be the longest day of my life. My schedule is already kicking my ass and it's just day three. White sitting through my classes I couldn't think of anything but getting home, relaxing, and blogging about the past couple of weeks. But now that I'm here I've forgotten most everything I was going to write about. I usually write down things that I hear randomly that I think are funny or interesting in a journal, but even that's not helping much. But I've already loaded my pictures so I might as well pull something out of my ass.

I've been back from a much needed vacation for over a week. My family and I drove 13 hours to Orange Beach, Alabama and it turned out not to be as hellish of a drive as I had previously imagined. Although, as predicted, Kimberly went through her typical "bi-polar car trip syndrome" where she's goofy one minute and then annoyed at you for no apparent reason the next. She also has the bladder of a mouse and was complaining every hour. I guess that was the closest I came to rolling down my window and hurling myself onto the highway. But we made it to the big AL seemingly quickly thanks to our handy in-car DVD player.

I essentially did the same thing every day: woke up around 9am, had breakfast on our 11th floor patio, watched some Cash Cab on Discovery Channel, slathered on the sun screen, and met my parents on the beach for a couple of hours of reading some good books. It was also really gratifying to see my parents relaxed, civil, and able to participate in some sarcastic banter with their son. It's not often when I have an opportunity to see my mother completely unruffled and playful.

[on the beach, sitting under our tent]
Me: "Can you move your chair over so I'm not in the sun?"
Mom: "No."
Me: "Do you want your only son to die of skin cancer?"
Mom: "Yes."

I read some great books on the trip. One of which was Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth. My dad made a few weak and baseless jokes about how it was "science-fiction" (he couldn't give me a clear answer when I asked him Global Warming even was) and Kimberly graciously reminded me that Al Gore had said he "invented the internet" which I just laughed off. If that's the worst shit you have on Al Gore, then he must not be that much of an asshole. That's all I have to say about that.

Everyone should run to Barnes and pick up Running With Scissors by Augusten Burroughs. Not only the most fucked up and disgusting book I've ever read, but the funniest. And it's a memoir. My friend Bryan said the movie should be rated NC-17 if it does any justice to the book, and he's right.

The rest of the trip went smoothly, but the car ride home was rather irritating. Nobody likes to return from a vacation and I think we were all sick of each other by the time we left. I love family-time to death, but only in small doses.

I have a lot more to talk about, but I'm splitting up the posts so that I don't have one huge post. More to come soon. Enjoy these pictures from my trip!

The only moments when Kimberly wasn't whining about her bladder.


Kim and I harassed our father throughout the car ride and got most of it on video. Hilarious.


Bridge!


At the beach!


Kimberly's boyfriend, Ted, was in Pensacola (about 30 minutes away) so he spent a lot of time with us.


Silblings on the beach


Caught by surprise


Trying on some hot swimsuits in those tacky surf shops.


The south is full of this Confederate flag shit. My favorite bumper sticker was the one that said "The South Will Rise Again"...what a bunch of shitheads.


A popular shop in Gulf Shores, AL


Our sand mermaid. I made out with her a little bit and still have sand in my mouth.


We eat at this same restaurant each time we visit and it's surrounded by horrific old lady shops that look like somewhere my old piano teacher would buy clothes.


I like to be original when I make pictures...and I figured nobody's seen a picture like this one.


I enjoyed feeding the seagulls and managed to snap this photo. I should be a fucking photographer for National Geographic. I rule.


Behind a crab restaurant.


Your eyes probably go straight towards the bunny ears on my head...but look to the left and try not to laugh at Kimberly's face. This picture makes me shit my pants.


"Mine Mine Mine Mine"


Posing like our old swim team photos. I didn't get much of a tan...but at least I didn't get sunburnt!


Lambert's...famous for throwing their rolls. They also walk around with giant bowls of outrageously good fried okra.


My mom asked this guy to just hand her a roll instead of throwing it, and then he threw it right at her chest again. Her face was priceless. Hysterical.


My new favorite restaurant...we need them in South Texas.


El Mar


Ted, Kimberly and I saw a movie on our last night in AL at a center with a big ferris wheel. Good times on the wheel, but the movie we saw was shit. DO NOT see the movie Pulse. Easily one of the worst movies I've ever seen.


Hardee's...we always stop here on the trip home. Great biscuits.


Before I go...everyone HAS to go see Little Miss Sunshine. What a surprise. Such a fucking great movie. I want to see it over and over again. Trust me, you'll love it.


That's all I got for now. I'll be posting soon about what went on when I got back home. Laters for now!