Tabloid

Walt Berkman: It's like...we were pals then...we'd do things together...we'd look at the knight armor at the Met. The scary fish at the Natural History Museum. I was always afraid of the squid and whale fighting. I can only look at it with my hands in front of my face.

-The Squid and the Whale

Today I attended an hour and a half long meeting for RTVF week at UNT called "College to Career: Making the Transition". Due to my lack of proactive participation in these kinds of on-campus activities, I figured I'd give it a shot because it did sound interesting. What's scary about my major in film is the indelible fear that comes along with it...knowing (or not knowing ) how much competition there is out there; artistically and career-wise. I've never been much of an aggressor when it comes to opportunity, and I tend to harness a huge insecurity in my capabilities. So why the fuck am I getting into a business that is so emulous? Mostly becuase I cannot imagine doing anything else with my life. I want to make movies.

Our meeting consisted of a panel of about seven professionals in our field discussing interviews, internships, applications, resumes, reels, our futures. The speakers were exactly as I imagined they would be: tenacious, knowledgable, enlightening, and mostly intimidating. They all resembled these incredibly savvy and accomplished intellects you might see walking the streets of New York or sitting outside a trendy, urban coffee shop reading the Times. And I'm pretty sure one of the female speakers wanted me. She must've eyed in my direction about 400 times. I made out with her after the meeting. Older women are naughty like that. Putting my cynicism aside, I can say that I learned a good bit from the meeting. Basically I need to slap myself and become a more passionate and determined individual before I venture out to the mysterious land of Los Angeles. I can only learn.

So another part of RTVF week is this thing called "PA Bootcamp". For those of you who don't know what a PA is -- they're basically a bitch...a gopher...a scapegoat. A Production Assistant is what a private in the army -- the lowest on the chain. Most everybody gets their start here and works their way up the ladder. I'm not exactly sure what this "PA Bootcamp" entails. Are they going to set up booths with different scenarios to test our backbones? Maybe at one booth we'll be timed to see how fast we can bring back starbucks, fill up gas for a crew member, or put quarters in the parking meter for the director's BMW. Perhaps another booth will be a tutorial on how to buy cocaine for an actor, and another booth will be the scenario of an irate actor yelling in your ear. That sounds like fun! Maybe I'll go afterall.

Who knows? Laters for now...

I Don't Know Who I Hate More: You or Me.

Bill: Do you find me sadistic? You know, I bet I could fry an egg on your head right now, if I wanted to. You know, Kiddo, I'd like to believe that you're aware enough even now to know that there's nothing sadistic in my actions. Well, maybe towards those other... jokers, but not you. No Kiddo, at this moment, this is me at my most... [cocks pistol]
Bill: masochistic.
The Bride: Bill... it's your baby... [Gunshot!]

-Kill Bill Volume 1

Even though I just sat here for ten minutes trying to dig deep and find something profound or compelling to write about, I've failed. I have nothing to say. Actually I have a lot to say...a whole lot. But then I remember that a handful of people actually read this and that scares me. I guess I won't be reminiscing about the time I discovered that I could talk to my penis and it told me to go on a murdering spree and call myself the Zodiac killer in the 60s and 70s. I hope the government reads this blog and arrests me.


Some Crap-Your-Pants worthy songs you MUST download:
Embrace "Out of Nothing"
Bloc Party "Blue Light (Anti Gravity Remix)"
Air "Run"
Mogwai "I Know You Are But What Am I?"

Last night I was studying for a political science exam, had the television turned on TLC, and this marathon of a show called "Little People, Big World" was playing. It's a reality show that follows a dwarf family -- well, the mother, father, and one of the sons have dwarfism. It's my new favorite show...but that tends to change every week. You should watch it. The end.
http://tlc.discovery.com/fansites/lpbw/lpbw.html?clik=netmain_feat1

Kimberly drove up to Plano this weekend and we both stayed with Laura and Kevin. Good times had by all...even if we did end up getting into random philisophical arguments about life a couple of times. Wait, more like sitting and listening to Kimberly talk my ear off with her saturated stereotypes and irritating and stifling ramblings about evolution and plastic surgery. Did I just say that? We have variety in our family...I love it.

You know who I hate? James Brown...what a freak.

I wanted to use this portion of the blog to shoutout to Allie who gave me a drunk dial at 1am on a school night last week. She is a true friend. Thanks for the laugh.

Here are the pictures from last weekend...enjoy!

I told Laura that I could practically make a photo album out of Riley photos...it's probably true. Maybe I'll do that when he dies. Woah...had a Debbie Downer moment just now.


Before Mi Cocina...one of the best restaurants ever.


Holy shit.


We are two funny motherfuckers.


Kevin and Laura...


High Fashion poses by the Mi Cocina sign. The valet guy was staring at us.


Playing Turbo Cranium and sipping some vino blanco.


Chili's Too in the mall...Laura almost cut the waitor.


For our mother.


More shopping at Virgin and Urban Outfitters.


At Cuba Libre for appetizers/drinks while waiting for a table at the restaurant next door.


Fireside Pies...another fantastic place to dine. Dallas restaurants kick so much ass.


Paula's Fresh Mozz pizza from fireside...totally worth the hour and a half wait.


"Hi! Welcome to Coldstone!"...you'll get that if you've ever been.


I have no idea.


So confused...and hungry for a treat.


Corner Bakery before I went back home. (ps: they have the best lemon bars ever)


Why do I looke 300 lbs?


I'm off to go find a snack and stare at the television until "Little People, Big World" comes back on...laters for now!

America's Best!

Christine Jesperson: [seeing his bandage] Whoa, what happened?
Richard Swersey: You want the short version or the long one?
Christine Jesperson: The long one.
Richard Swersey: I tried to save my life but it didn't work.
Christine Jesperson: Wow. What's the short one?
Richard Swersey: I burned it.

-Me and You and Everyone We Know

I made my usual trip to Blockbuster yesterday unaware of how long it'd actually been since my last visit. It took me forever to pick out two movies. If I had all the money in the world, I would probably spend it only on food and movies: two of my favorite things. Oh. And maybe clothes. I don't want to be naked.

I just ate animal crackers for breakfast.

One of the movies I rented was excellent. It's called The Dying Gaul and it stars Peter Sarsgaard, Patricia Clarkson, and Scott Campbell. It's basically about a gay screenwriter who writes this brilliant script and is offered to greenlight it by a charming (and married) film executive. The screenwriter soons finds himself seduced by the executive's charm and lifestyle. At the same time his wife becomes fascinated with the screenwriter and soon evolves a sort of three way relationship that exposes a lot of secrets that "lead all three characters into a dark maze of deception and betrayal".

The only negative thing about it was the distracting over-stylized look of the movie during parts. But it's hard to even notice that I guess because Peter Sarsgaard's performance is just so fucking amazing. Seriously. This guy steals every movie he's in. He was the shit in Shattered Glass, the poo in Kinsey, the caca in Jarhead, and the doody in Skeleton Key (jk, that movie blew my ass) Everyone should go rent The Dying Gaul!

I have no clue why they made the movie poster the shot of Peter's character during an orgasm...whatever.


One of my favorite actresses: Patricia Clarkson. She's hot for her age, right?


One of the greatest actors alive...


Download these songs: "Someone Like You" by New Order and "Solsbury Hill" by Peter Gabriel

Here are the rest of the pictures from the break. I'm off to go watch the movie again. Enjoy!

We got to the IMAX theater about an hour and a half too early, so we spent the time laughing and taking stupid pictures. (oh, and we saw Wild Safari 3D)


Happy Feet


Untitled


Sorry, Mary...


A small party at the girls' house.


Mary dirty dancing with the pantry door.


(these pictures are obviously not in order) This is coming out of the Rivercenter mall on our way back to the car.


This is by far my favorite picture from the break. I just love the blank look on Mary's face. And I have no clue why she's on the floor...and playing with her cell phone.


Me after a few glasses of wine.


Good times at Chili's


Good times at Shisha...if you ever get a chance, eat the food there. It's fantastic.


At Alex's place w/ Kristen and Darren.


Another trip downtown on my last night in SA


Waiting for a table at Rainforest Cafe. Soon after this, I was drinking Mary's smoothie through a straw and Brittany goes "Suck it bitch and tell me you like it!" and I choked and almost died.


Mary and some mechanical monkeys. (ooh, alliteration)


Posing like this in the middle of a restaurant is not fun. However, I think sucking the gorilla's teets would be much more embarassing.


Mary was a little too excited. (ps: the Rainforest Cafe in Dallas is MUCH better)


You know she sits on that thing when it's on during her free time.


Two of my best friends!


It managed to stop raining for a minute and this was the view I got driving into downtown Dallas. I had to take some pictures!




Kimberly is coming into town this weekend and we're both staying in Plano. I'll definitely have some good pictures coming! Laters for now!

I'm Sorry I Apologized.

Me: "I'm so LA."
Alex: "No, you're not. You live in Denton next to an auto repair shop."

I love our conversations. I think Alex is quite possibly the only person I could have an engaging conversation with by just laughing. I'm glad I have a friend that shares the exact same sense of humor. He is so HD. (only he gets that...)

I'm in love with a woman named Wendy Liebman. She is a hysterical comedianne who I've had the pleasure of seeing on a few HBO specials. She has this incredible 'under the breath' style that literally makes me cry laughing. For instance "I just finished my holiday shopping...from 1996". Wait, I just realized it's not as funny as seeing her perform the joke. Rewind that whole paragraph. http://www.wendyliebman.com/

I spent 6 and a half hours in my egg car yesterday (I recently realized my car looks like an egg) driving back to hell...I mean Denton. A good two hours of that was sitting in park on a highway. Apparently downtown Dallas floods really easily when it rains. Somebody should do something about that. People might be on road trips alone in the car with a dying iPod battery. Bad things could happen. At least my mom gave me an earily Easter goody bag with Peeps and Cadbury eggs. If I didn't have any candy to eat, I probably would've stabbed a stranger.

Spring Break was pretty damn fun. I'm not going to tell you shit about it because I probably don't give a fuck about what you did either. It's a favor. You're welcome. I do, however, have 200 pictures. Don't worry I won't post them all. Just the good ones...like the one of Brittany on a toilet. jk....not really.

One of the highlights was watching this incredible movie called Ice Queen with Alex and his friends. You know those cheesey movies you see on the shelves at Blockbuster that go straight to DVD? And when you joke about wanting to see them, you secretly do on the inside? Well, this is one of those movies. Something tells me I won't forget the night I watched a low budget, horribly acted, cheap ass horror film with four drunk gay men. But seriously, it was one of the more entertaining films I've seen.

see?

I will tell you one thing: Don't go see The Hills Have Eyes. When the mutated villains had a gun to an infant's head, breastfed off of the mother, raped the sister, burned the father on a tree and shot the older mother in the chest all in one scene, I tickled the thought of walking out. Mind you I've only walked out of two films: Alexander and John Q. This was truly a disgusting and pointless movie. Do see: V for Vendetta. A much more politically charged movie than I expected (Kimberly as well), it was still a pretty entertaining two and a half hours. I won't get all film student on your ass...you're welcome again.

Wait, I have to get film student on your ass really quickly. I am SO excited for this movie called Brick to release on March 31st. It's a noir film about a high school student who "pushes his way into the underworld of a high school crime ring to investigate the dissapearance of his ex-girlfriend" (imdb.com) Just watch the fucking trailer here (http://www.videodetective.com/trailer-preview.asp?customerid=97135&publishedID=809854) and be ready to defocate in your pants. I fucking love trailers and this is a great one. I'm a trailer whore...a trailer trash whore. Hey, a joke! 10 points!


I'm watching television. You can say "shit" on Bravo? I like it.

I delivered a speech today in my communications class about the avian flu. When I finished, a girl asked me how it could be spread human to human and I pretended to know the answer. You can't just give a 6 minutes speech on the bird flu and then not be able to answer a question right? This is what I told her: "They don't know"...I think I scared her.

Oh shit, it's already 4:30 and I haven't gone to Kroger yet. I'm off to run over a few senior citizens with my basket. What? They never move out of the way.

Here are a few pictures from the break. I think I'm going to break them up into two posts...

Laura and Riley. He looks absolutely thrilled.


Kevin and Laura eating some Coldstone after NAAN sushi. I was a little intoxicated. It's fun to get drunk and eat sushi!


Brittany and Mary on my first night in town....and Leonardo Dicaprio in the background. What? I hadn't seen Titanic in a long time...


I made out with this DVD.


Yum...the burrito looks good too.


It's blurry, I know.


Mary's new Dodge truck...she enjoys molesting it.


Mary and Brittany barfing after the movie.


Raising hell at Wal-Mart.


This cat is the best! Her name is Sadie and she reminded me of my old cat Rocky...mainly b/c she weighed more than I do. Sweetest pussy in the world!


Not exactly sure what's going on here b/c I was too busy playing on Mary's computer, but apparently Heather was re-piercing Brittany's ear. She looks like a fish.


In Mary's new truck!


Mmmm...overpriced mexican food! We ARE in San Antonio!


So the waitor at Guadalajara saw us taking pictures and probably assumed we were tourists or some shit, so he brought us ponchos and sombreros to take more photos in. Random.


La Villita church



My hand.


Mary and her menu.


Looking rad.


Tourist Mating Ground


Beautiful cat that kept following me around...I'm convinced it's a dead relative reincarnated. Not really, only idiots believe that horseshit.


It was Mary's idea.


Oh god.


In front of the torch of friendship. Some tour guide took this picture. She was hot...if you're into wrinkly old ladies.


There are tons more pictures. Hopefully I can find time tomorrow to post them. Laters for now!