Working It Out On The Inside: My Life In Ten Words Or Less

Jules: You scratch our backs, we'll scratch yours.
Seth: Well, funny thing about my back is it's located on my cock.

- Superbad (2007)

I was lying on a sheetless mattress in my empty bedroom nursing my bruised fingers in my mouth and writing in my journal. I had spent the previous two days feeling sorry for myself while filling large tupperware bins with all my shit and lugging them up what might be the longest staircase I've ever encountered. (A great workout for my pale, puffy frame) It was my idea to move out of my aparmtent by myself; a choice I would later regret when realizing exactly how much shit I owned. In one sense, I came up alone in order to prove to my parents that I could actually accomplish something without their help, but mostly I came up just to get the fuck out of my house in San Antonio and be alone.

I've essentially spent the past two years of college alone, intentionally cooped up in my pathetic bedroom and hidden away from people, parties, and any form of socialization for no legitimate reason. Even when I would hear my roomate's presence in the living area I would freeze in my room, hoping they wouldn't detect any signs of activity. I don't know why. Now that I think about it, it's sort of sociopathic. On the rare occasion that I would meet one of his friends, they would make a comment about how they didn't know Brad even had a roomate. Ha. In the future, when I look back on my college years, most of my memories will probably consist of me sitting alone in my bedroom. And I'm okay with that. I think.

In a few days I'm driving back to Denton to move into my new apartment: a one-bedroom. Now I can sing out loud, play the piano as loud as I want, walk around in the nude, dance in the mirror, fart, recite lines from my favorite movies...all without the anxiety of a roomate seeing me.
_______________________________________

To busy myself over the past few weeks, I wrote and directed two short films set to music. I would say they're music videos, but whenever I say that people assume that I just filmed somebody lip synching to a Britney Spears song. And as much fun as that sounds, it's not what my movies are. I tend to write movies that are subjective to one character's state of mind, and usually focus on a female protagonist. They also tend to be thematically dark, which my mother told me worries her. Haha.

The first is called "Alone" and stars my sister...again. It's basically about a woman who experiences a break-up and tries to change who she is and suffers a complete emotional breakdown. But it goes backwards. The second is called "Hello Again" and it's about a woman who runs into an ex-flame and re-visits her entire life with him and understands again why their relationship failed. It stars Mary, Danté, and Brittany. Check them out on youtube:

"Alone"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HX3Nwea-k3k

"Hello Again"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvVR-KKizZo

I've been away for a few weeks, so I've got a good handful of photos to post. Enjoy.

My empty room

Mary purchased some blow up kayaks so we took a trip to Boerne Lake to use them! The electric pump wouldn't work, so we blew them up manually. (which almost killed me)

Mary made peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches that probably weighed more than me.

Crack is whack

Shisha with Danté and friends

Moses flashes a nipple and winks.

Drinks at...Red Robin? Their Mai Tai will fuck you up!

Prom

At the Sea Island picnic at Ancira Park. Danté and I switched name tags and people called me by the wrong name the entire night. I thought it was funny.