And Fuck You For Saying So...

Ms. Norbury: [after implying that an elderly biker is her boyfriend] I'm kidding. Sometimes older people make jokes too.
Damian: My grandma takes her wig off when she's drunk.
Ms. Norbury: Your grandmother and I have that in common.

- Mean Girls

Happy Friday the 13th! To celebrate I'm blogging and watching a Blowout marathon on Bravo. Jonathan Anton, the star of the show, is a stupid twat cry baby that should go sit on a rusty knife. If you've ever watched the show you know what I'm talking about.

It's been a while since I last posted. I've been terribly preoccupied with more important things. Things like cleaning out all the empty Little Debbie boxes from my closet. Things like scraping dried eggs off the kitchen counter left by my roomate. Things like researching film studios in the Dallas area for a summer job. Things like staring blankly at my calendar and waiting until April 26th when I leave for New York City!

That's right. In 13 days Laura and I will be flying up to NYC to meet up with Kevin at the amazing Hilton Hotel in Times Square. We're still not quite sure all the things we want to do, but I think we're in agreement that we aren't going to be too touristy. Laura just wants to go for the shopping. I just want to go for the experience. The last time I went to NYC was in high school with a huge group of band nerds and chaperones. Everything was so rushed and fleeting that I barely had any time to actually soak in the city. This time will be different. Even if Conan did get cancelled. Bastards.


I went and saw the movie Grindhouse this monday. I wasn't really excited to see it, but I figured it was worth a look. The concept was really unique and anything with Tarantino's name on it is probably going to be good. Quentin is a fucking nutcase but his movies are so inventive and incomparable. Let me just say that I haven't had so much fun watching a movie in a long time. The concept Grindhouse is to duplicate the old 70's exploitation films that played in grindhouse theaters. You know...those old campy movies that exhibit a lot of gore and sex.

It consists of two full-length features: Planet Terror (by Robert Rodriguez) and Death Proof (by Quentin Tarantino). In between the two features are trailers for other exploitation movies that don't actually exist directed by other famous directors. All three hours and 11 minutes are totally worth it. My favorite feature was Death Proof but Planet Terror is far from bad. I'm not one to walk out of a movie and be like, "Yeah man, that was fuckin' badass!" but that's what I was doing. I wanted to like...high five everyone when I left the theater and then go jump my car off a huge ramp. Go see it. And pee before you watch it.







Here are some pics from last weekend:

The family was in town for Easter weekend. We went to Mi Cocina for dinner on Friday. Mom looks excited.


Mis hermanas


The family, minus dad who was taking the picture.


My buddy Jordan turned 22 and had a party on Friday.


Licking the cake knife. Does that make you as horny as me?


Somebody threw a dart and it hit a fucking button.


Scotty P's for lunch on Saturday.


Laura is excited and Kimberly wants to kill someone.


Mom's strawberry cake. She turned 32.


My best friend!!....and Kimberly.


He's smart.


We met up with our cousins at Fireside Pies in Plano. I'm not sure what Laura is doing in this photo.


It took me a few minutes to stop laughing at this picture.


My cuz Thomas and Kevin (wearing my glasses)


Twats


Bigger twats


Mom and her b-day gifts.


Laura has coined the phrase "It's all about me" ever since the time she had surgery and I tried to steal the attention she got with my sore throat. She found this t-shirt online and ordered it.


Kevin and Laura cook us an Easter lunch.



Laura makes herself apparent in a very subtle way.


I may not be posting until I return from NYC! Laters for now!