Good Face

Dwayne: "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"

- Little Miss Sunshine

I've just had what might be the longest day of my life. My schedule is already kicking my ass and it's just day three. White sitting through my classes I couldn't think of anything but getting home, relaxing, and blogging about the past couple of weeks. But now that I'm here I've forgotten most everything I was going to write about. I usually write down things that I hear randomly that I think are funny or interesting in a journal, but even that's not helping much. But I've already loaded my pictures so I might as well pull something out of my ass.

I've been back from a much needed vacation for over a week. My family and I drove 13 hours to Orange Beach, Alabama and it turned out not to be as hellish of a drive as I had previously imagined. Although, as predicted, Kimberly went through her typical "bi-polar car trip syndrome" where she's goofy one minute and then annoyed at you for no apparent reason the next. She also has the bladder of a mouse and was complaining every hour. I guess that was the closest I came to rolling down my window and hurling myself onto the highway. But we made it to the big AL seemingly quickly thanks to our handy in-car DVD player.

I essentially did the same thing every day: woke up around 9am, had breakfast on our 11th floor patio, watched some Cash Cab on Discovery Channel, slathered on the sun screen, and met my parents on the beach for a couple of hours of reading some good books. It was also really gratifying to see my parents relaxed, civil, and able to participate in some sarcastic banter with their son. It's not often when I have an opportunity to see my mother completely unruffled and playful.

[on the beach, sitting under our tent]
Me: "Can you move your chair over so I'm not in the sun?"
Mom: "No."
Me: "Do you want your only son to die of skin cancer?"
Mom: "Yes."

I read some great books on the trip. One of which was Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth. My dad made a few weak and baseless jokes about how it was "science-fiction" (he couldn't give me a clear answer when I asked him Global Warming even was) and Kimberly graciously reminded me that Al Gore had said he "invented the internet" which I just laughed off. If that's the worst shit you have on Al Gore, then he must not be that much of an asshole. That's all I have to say about that.

Everyone should run to Barnes and pick up Running With Scissors by Augusten Burroughs. Not only the most fucked up and disgusting book I've ever read, but the funniest. And it's a memoir. My friend Bryan said the movie should be rated NC-17 if it does any justice to the book, and he's right.

The rest of the trip went smoothly, but the car ride home was rather irritating. Nobody likes to return from a vacation and I think we were all sick of each other by the time we left. I love family-time to death, but only in small doses.

I have a lot more to talk about, but I'm splitting up the posts so that I don't have one huge post. More to come soon. Enjoy these pictures from my trip!

The only moments when Kimberly wasn't whining about her bladder.


Kim and I harassed our father throughout the car ride and got most of it on video. Hilarious.


Bridge!


At the beach!


Kimberly's boyfriend, Ted, was in Pensacola (about 30 minutes away) so he spent a lot of time with us.


Silblings on the beach


Caught by surprise


Trying on some hot swimsuits in those tacky surf shops.


The south is full of this Confederate flag shit. My favorite bumper sticker was the one that said "The South Will Rise Again"...what a bunch of shitheads.


A popular shop in Gulf Shores, AL


Our sand mermaid. I made out with her a little bit and still have sand in my mouth.


We eat at this same restaurant each time we visit and it's surrounded by horrific old lady shops that look like somewhere my old piano teacher would buy clothes.


I like to be original when I make pictures...and I figured nobody's seen a picture like this one.


I enjoyed feeding the seagulls and managed to snap this photo. I should be a fucking photographer for National Geographic. I rule.


Behind a crab restaurant.


Your eyes probably go straight towards the bunny ears on my head...but look to the left and try not to laugh at Kimberly's face. This picture makes me shit my pants.


"Mine Mine Mine Mine"


Posing like our old swim team photos. I didn't get much of a tan...but at least I didn't get sunburnt!


Lambert's...famous for throwing their rolls. They also walk around with giant bowls of outrageously good fried okra.


My mom asked this guy to just hand her a roll instead of throwing it, and then he threw it right at her chest again. Her face was priceless. Hysterical.


My new favorite restaurant...we need them in South Texas.


El Mar


Ted, Kimberly and I saw a movie on our last night in AL at a center with a big ferris wheel. Good times on the wheel, but the movie we saw was shit. DO NOT see the movie Pulse. Easily one of the worst movies I've ever seen.


Hardee's...we always stop here on the trip home. Great biscuits.


Before I go...everyone HAS to go see Little Miss Sunshine. What a surprise. Such a fucking great movie. I want to see it over and over again. Trust me, you'll love it.


That's all I got for now. I'll be posting soon about what went on when I got back home. Laters for now!

A Quiet Rage

The Brain: Ask any dope rat where their junk sprang and they'll say they scraped it from that who scored it from this who bought it off so and after four or five connections the list always ends with the Pin. But I bet you got every rat in town together and said 'show your hands' if any of them've actually seen the Pin, you'd get a crowd of full pockets.

-Brick

"Keep up with me now." I rented a movie yesterday that I had been dying to see and that I actually had mentioned in a previous blog. Since it was only playing in Dallas I figured I'd rather wait and rent it despite the festering desire growing inside me. The movie is called Brick and I now regret not seeing it in theaters. It's such a crazy good movie and everybody should go and rent it. It's basically about a seemingly fearless guy named Brenden who receives a strange phone call from an ex-girlfriend who turns up missing. Brenden then finds himself mixed up with a group of characters involved in an underground crime ring. Besides Joseph Gordon Levitt's (10 things I Hate About You, 3rd Rock From the Sun) convincing performance, the best part of the movie is the unusual stylized dialogue. The way the characters talk is almost like jive, except not. It's hard to explain but just trust me -- this movie is mind-blowing. See it!







Alright, I had to plug that movie. I'm so buying that shit when I get a chance.

I'll be leaving for San Antonio tomorrow after my final, and then will be enduring a 12 hour trip to Gulf Shores, Alabama on Saturday. This will be a much needed vacation...and that's an understatement. I won't be updating for a couple of weeks, but I promise a great return blog. Peace and love! Laters for now!

Up My Sleeve

Ruth Fisher: "I'll never have what I want. Ever."

-Six Feet Under

I'm sleeping the other night and my phone rings at 1:30am. It's my new roomate, Michael, who has been assigned to my apartment to satisfy the empty room that my last roomate left open to new residents. I realize quickly that he's either drunk or stoned and the first thing he asks me is, "Do you like to party?". I respond, "No, what about you?". He says, "Well, you know...I'm a freshman, so I'll have some friends over and stuff." Fuck. Then I realized it was 1:30am and this asshole had just woken me up to ask me if I liked to party. What the fuck? I told him I was asleep because I had class the next day and after an unenthusiastic apology, he told me we should "meet up at the fuckin' waffle house." What?! Is it just me, or do good people seem to have the worst luck? It took me a long time to fall back asleep due to the fact that I was fuming mad. How could my apartment complex matched me up with such a shithead?

Well, my luck just turned around in a matter of 14 hours. My mom called me yesterday letting me know that Kevin's (my brother in law) cousin, Brad, was looking for a place to live and a roomate. After making about 10,000 calls, we met up this morning when the apartment office opened, pulled some strings and worked it out to where Brad and I will room together rather than the fuckface freshman drunk-ass. Let's just say I had to bang all the girls in the office to get it to work out. I'm just a pimp like that. Thank God I don't have to go to the damn Waffle House.

With a new roomate on the way, I've decided to re-do our living room. It literally looked like an institution so I'm in the process of making it look good. I've already consulted Alex for his gay opinion on colors and such. I told my mom I wanted it to be the "gayest living room ever" because I don't know if you've ever been in a gay persons home before, but they always look good. Pictures will be blogged soon.

I drove home last week because my Health teacher let us out of class to work on these ridiculously easy assignments. It was really good to see all my friends again and just have a week to lie on the couch and watch marathons of Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-list. You could probably care less about what all I did while I was home, so I'll just sum up with some picture captions below.

Some great songs you should download:
Missy Elliot "Can't Stop"
Aidan Hawken "Pillows and Records"
Nelly Furtado "Explode"
Sigúr Ros "Hoppipola"

I've mostly been renting movies rather than seeing them in theaters, but I have seen a couple worth mentioning. Lady in the Water, Shyamalan's latest film, is very...different. I like him because he's one of the few directors around that tries to create imaginative stories, and interesting characters. We need more directors like him rather than the Michael Bays and Eli Roths. I actually didn't really like Lady in the Water the first time I saw it. I saw two more times (I saw it with different groups of friends) and it's growing on me. Easily Shyamalan's weakest film, but a weak film from him means it's still pretty good. There were parts that I absolutely hated, but there were moments that I love. (especially the ending) I'd reccomend it, I guess. But be warned: It's not a horror/thriller like the trailers lead you to believe.


I also saw a documentary the other day called Who Killed the Electric Car? It was basically an hour and a half of bashing government, big oil, consumers, the California Air Resources Board, and car companies...and I loved it! It's about how we had a great alternative for consumers and the environment with electric cars, but they mysteriously were taken off the market and smashed to pieces. It's a blame game and a good watch.


Alright, that's all I got for now. I'm off to Laura and Kevin's for the weekend to house sit and take care of Riley. I'm also going to see The Night Listener tonight. I rule! Enjoy the pics:

Alex and our friend George making drinks. I'm pretty sure George just pissed in that glass.


At the movies with Rob and Brittany. Hey, Rob...the..the cameras up here, bud.


Chili's with Brittany. She was telling me about her horrible airport experience. Either that or she just peed a little.


Brittany and some pussies


At Jiffy Lube with Brittany. I know, random.


Foxxie and Britt


Sarah Silverman's Jesus is Magic. Such a funny movie.


Hanging out with Alex and Mike. Mike says he didn't dye hair. pffft


On our way to A&M to visit Kristen and friends...aka me singing and dancing in the car for three hours while Alex tries his hardest not to slam the car into a tree just to kill me.


At some Italian restaurant that I pretended to like. Sorry Kristen.


The gang...plus Kimberly


What the hell is wrong with my hand in this picture?!


Cotton Patch for lunch! Kristen just pooped in her pants.


Alex trying hard to mask his contempt for me.


Best server at Olive Garden. (She probably spit in my food)


Vodka and Gatorade. Try it!


At some lame-ass empty country club in College Station.


"Why did that club suck so much?!"


In the next club called Groove.


Gettin' freaky with Diwen. We were the only two that would dance.


Leaving Groove...and off to Whataburger!


Alex convinced me to go to the gay club, Bonham, with him and his friends. I took Brittany as my date. If you haven't been before, then go! Crazy fun times.


Laters for now!