All About Peg

Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: Suggestive techniques for the marine to use in the avoidance of boredom and loneliness. Masturbation. Re-reading of letters from unfaithful wives and girlfriends. Cleaning your rifle. Further masturbation. Re-wiring Walkman. Arguing about religion and meaning of life. Discussing in detail, every women the marine has ever fucked. Debating differences, such as Cuban vs Mexican women, Harleys vs Hondas, left vs right-handed masturbation. Further cleaning of rifle. Studying the mail order philippine bride catalogue. Further masturbation. Planning a marine's first meal on return home. Imagining what a marine's girlfriend and her man Jody are doing in the alley or in a hotel bed.

-Jarhead

I recently joined a facebook group called "Sometimes you be like...damn!" I'm assuming the word "damn" suggests a formidable feeling of overwhelming dissapointment, anger, or even an expression of bad luck. So with this in mind, I give you a few archetypes of when sometimes I just be like..."damn"

When you're driving down the street and you see that gas prices are currently $2.75 and you shit your pants...you be like "damn".

When you're leaving a lecture early and walking up the stairs to exit and you trip causing your 300lb backpack to fly over your head as you fall forward...you be like "damn".

When you're sitting in English class senior year high school and your teacher reads aloud your personal blog in which you called the teacher an "anal bitch"...you be like "damn".

When you purchase two large tubs of chocolate covered raisins because they were only 2 for $5 and you eat them in one day...you be like "damn".

When you go to a restaurant with your brother-in-law and sister while a bit tipsy and on your way to the bathroom try to pivot around a waitor standing in your path and you trip in front of everyone...you be like "damn".

When you're singing along to Lauryn Hill in the car while sitting in traffic and the two girls in the car next to you laugh...you be like "damn".

When you're dusting off your ceiling fan and a one inch thick streamer of lint touches your tongue...you be like "damn".

When one of your favorite musicians (Imogen Heap) is coming to Austin and Dallas, but you find out it's during finals week...you be like "damn".

When Alex Carter calls you at 2:30am obviously inebriated and wanting to talk about how my weekend was...you be like "damn". No...I be like "BITCH I'M SLEEPING!"

Ah, that felt good to get those "damns" out of my system. So how was your weekend, everybody? Wait, I just realized nobody will answer that. Mine was quite good, as usual. I think any day that I get to sleep in until 10am is a good day for me though.

I did the typical Friday deal by eating out at a Mexican Restaurant with L&K. Kevin split off to hang out with some SMU buddies while Laura and I watched Brokeback Mountain. Well, actually she fell asleep after 20 minutes or so. Last night I was invited to my friend Jordan's 21st birthday party at the Main Event in Lewisville. Just imagine Laser Quest, a bowling alley, a bar, mini golf, a pool hall, and an arcade combined and that's what Main Event is. Here are some pictures from the weekend...enjoy:

Laura was trying to pose funny with Riley, but it just ended up looking like she was urinating on his face.


Riley's inner drag queen comes to the surface. He enjoys wearing womens' underwear. I support him in all his decisions.


Laura's delicious salad at Taco Diner.


Maybe we shouldn't have sat outside when a cold front was blowing through...


I look stoned...but I'm not. "Crack is whack", as Whitney Houston puts it so elegantly.


Ha.


I know it's blury...but I was tipsy and it was extremely windy. Forgive me.


My current desktop background...I rule.


Riley also enjoys Apple Pie a la Cold Stone ice cream...bitch tried to eat the whole thing.


At Main Event with Jordan and friends


Laser Tag! We had this creepy middle schooler on our team that took the game way too seriously. Bitch thought he was a strategist by telling us where to stand and shit. I just ran around and screamed like a girl.


I love these things. I put the setting on "women and kids" thinking I'd hit the highest point, but I failed. And I lost my dignity. PS: yes, I rocked the same shirt two days in a row...suck it!


Jordan's "first" drink ever...


Grant and Samantha


Shooting hoops...remind me never to play that game again. I apparently suck at all sports. Except swimming...but I doubt they had a pool at Main Event.


That's all I got, homies...laters for now!