Static

Claire Fisher: [crying] I miss you so fucking much!
Nate Fisher: I miss you too.
Claire Fisher: You know how I always used to tell you you weren't Dad...after Dad died? It was such a waste of time thinking that way.
Nate Fisher: No, it's just part of how you dealt with it, that's all.
Claire Fisher: No, it kept me from ever knowing you as much as I really could have. And now you are so completely fucking gone!
Nate Fisher: Claire, stop listening to the Static.
Claire Fisher: What the fuck does that mean?
Nate Fisher: Nothing. It just means that everything in the world is just like this transmission making its way across the dark. But everything...death, life...everything is all completely suffused with static. *SCHHHHHH* But if you listen to the static too much it fucks you up.
Claire Fisher: Are you high?
Nate Fisher: I am actually, yeah. I'm quite high.

-Six Feet Under

Thank goodness for reruns and DVDs. Otherwise I would have probably committed suicide by now if I weren't able to rewatch the episodes of Six Feet Under. I don't think there will ever be a show that will surpass the connection I made with SFU. If you haven't gotten a chance to see any episodes, I urge to to start renting from season one. It honestly re-defines television. OH MY GOD! I just turned on HBO and SFU is totally on! This is too weird. I hope I can still blog without becoming too distracted. Check out this AWESOME 2 minute promo for it and get a taste of what it's all about...seriously...watch it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGzFdUCBGIs

A few weeks ago Natalie Portman hosted SNL and did this "SNL Digital Short" where she raps. It is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. Check it out here:
http://www.nbc.com/Video/videos/snl_1439_natalieraps.shtml

Perhaps in an effort to disconnect myself with all the stress of the last few weeks of the semester, I recently picked up another hobby -- Yoga. I'm trying my hardest to do it every day while maintaining the mindset that I'm not a deeply pretentious poser. But it makes me feel pretty good...and now I can even touch my toes without bending my knees. So suck it.

So I went and saw Silent Hill this weekend with Kevin. I'm getting a little tired of getting excited about movies, and then being severely dissapointed after I see them. It had some decent moments, but the movie left a lot of things unexplained. Not all of us have played the video game, you idiots. But still, people will be seduced by the movie magic and too distracted to notice its lifeless plot and tedious and uninteresting story that leads to nothing. Watching that movie was the equivalent of letting a dog take a bloody dump in my mouth. Fuck you, Silent Hill and all of your bullshit! You wasted my $8.50!

Sorry if it seems like I'm in a bad mood. I just spent five arduous hours in the campus library studying for one of my four exams that I have this week. I think I may be suffering from "page-flipping fatigue". Also I kept getting distracted in my study cubical because people had written all kinds of shit on the desk that I found fascinating. Stuff like "UNT Sucks" which was followed by "No, you suck" which was followed by "No, your mom sucks". I contributed to the graffiti by writing "studying blows my ass" on the cubical wall. Graffiti is my new form of expression.

Here are the pictures from the past weekend. They suck, but so did my weekend. Enjoy!

Laura made Cosmos. Fierce! Maybe I shouldn't have had two of them, and two glasses of wine, and some other drink Kevin made before we went to dinner. Oops.


No, Laura didn't just take Ecstasy...She bought a bunch of baby teething stuff to help some of her Speech Pathology kids work on eating skills.


SLP = Speech Language Pathologist...she gave this as a gift to one of her fellow co-workers.


I'm an idiot.


Oooh, that's deep.


At Cheesecake Factory...mmm


Sometimes I still surprise myself at how white I actually am.


Showoff


I'm off to do some yoga poses before bed. Hopefully this time I won't break my foot trying to maneuver my feet to sit on my thighs. I'm sorry, but that's just not normal. Laters for now.

I Think You're Crazy. Maybe

Charlie Kaufman: [voice-over] I'm pathetic, I'm a loser. I have failed, I am panicked. I've sold out, I am worthless, I... What the fuck am I doing here? What the fuck am I doing here? Fuck. It is my weakness, my ultimate lack of conviction that brings me here. Easy answers used to shortcut yourself to success. And here I am because my jump into the abysmal well - isn't that just a risk one takes when attempting something new? I should leave here right now. I'll start over. I need to face this project head on and...
Robert McKee: ...and God help you if you use voice-over in your work, my friends. God help you. That's flaccid, sloppy writing. Any idiot can write a voice-over narration to explain the thoughts of a character.

-Adaptation.

It's official. The next two weeks will be the most arduous and sluggish weeks I've experienced all school year. Why? My ass is driving to Austin, TX to stay with Allie and Emily on the 28th. Haagh! (disregard the inside "haagh" joke) Whenever I have something exciting to look forward to, my days seem to end up uneventful, reluctant, and brimming with apathy on my behalf. Wait...every day is like that. Just kidding. Not really.

I just saw a kickass trailer for a film called The Fountain by Darren Aronofsky. You know? The guy that directed Requiem for a Dream and Pi? It looks incredible. Watch the trailer here:
http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/thefountain/

I've been randomly coming across the new MTV show called "Yo Mama" hosted by that massive tool Wilmer Valderama. I really don't like that guy. If I ever met him in an alley one day, I'd punch him in the esophagus and run away giggling. Even if I hate the host, it's still quite the hilarious show. Basically it's just people from different hoods representing by disrespecting other people's mothers. Here are a few of my favorite jokes: (they're much funnier in a ghetto voice)

"Yo mama so fat, she sweats butter and syrup and has a full time job working at Denny's wiping pancakes across her forehead"

"Yo mama so cross-eyed, your daddy left her because she was seeing somebody else on the side."

"You're so fat, late at night you pull out the KC Masterpiece BBQ sauce and use it to masturbate to a cook book."

I have a new obsession. Her name is Nornna and I'm almost convinced she is God. I signed up for a free account at this popular website called youtube.com. Basically you download and store digital videos. Nornna is a frequent uploader and she has about 600 videos of her doing absolutely nothing. And it is amazing. I never thought I'd be interested in watching a young woman devour chocolate covered cherries like a dog, or brush her teeth, or eat hamburger helper...but she is my idol. Some guy on youtube even put together a fake movie trailer to honor her and her youtube glory. It's actually a really well done trailer and you should watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20t2w8zPBQk

As you all know, this past weekend was Easter (and my mom's b-day). My mom, dad, and Kimberly all drove up to Plano and somehow we managed to fit six people in Laura and Kevin's town house. Big props to them for doing that because I would've lit myself on fire if it was my home. We did the usual: ate out at nice restaurants, shopped, ate out at nice restaurants, and shopped. On Sunday I was the only one that didn't go to church and, surprisingly, I wasn't questioned by my parents; only a few jokes were thrown out like "You're going to hell!" Instead of church I sat around and watched The Squid and the Whale on DVD. Nothing celebrates Jesus dying for our sins like watching a fucked up and disturbing comedy about divorce. YAY!

Here are a shit load of pictures I took from the weekend. Enjoy stealing them!

So they built this "upscale" Wal-Mart to highlight the fact that Plano tends to be a very uppety city. Hardwood floors, designer clothes, sushi bar, etc. Here is Kimberly posing at a small cafe attached to the Wal-Mart.


Deciding to go shopping with my Mom and Sister was a bad idea. They went to this store called Sam Moon's. Basically it's this store that sells rip off purses, bags, and accessories for really cheap prices. It's full of crazy white women. This is Kimberly trying on some of their creepy hair pieces.


Trying to be Hulk Hogan.


On Friday we went to Mi Cocina. Surprise! We never go there. Also I was quite tipsy...and my parents had no idea.



This is one of the few times I've seen my father try to be funny. And it was frightening.


Parking lot.


Laura is head over heels....wait...isn't our head already over our heels?


Idiot.


Laura totally scored the last of the champagne. Chug! Chug! Chug!


The tulips I got my mother for her birthday...and Laura.


One of the best shots or Riley? Maybe. But good enough to be Laura's new desktop background. I should start charging for this shit.


Delicious strawberry cake from a nearby bakery.


Cookies from the same bakery.


We ate at Maggianos for mom's b-day. mmmm


Before Maggianos...drinking some cosmos. FIERCE!


Siblings


I look like a fat turd in this photo...whatever.


Kimberly and Riley. Yes you can steal this for your myspace, Kimberly.


Mom opening gifts...and Kimberly making me pee my pants.


Handsome cat






Laura preparing Easter brunch


REE! REE! REE! REE!


Kevin grilling


Laura is not cool.


Finalmente...


I've got to go study for an exam tomorrow. Laters for now!

All About Peg

Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: Suggestive techniques for the marine to use in the avoidance of boredom and loneliness. Masturbation. Re-reading of letters from unfaithful wives and girlfriends. Cleaning your rifle. Further masturbation. Re-wiring Walkman. Arguing about religion and meaning of life. Discussing in detail, every women the marine has ever fucked. Debating differences, such as Cuban vs Mexican women, Harleys vs Hondas, left vs right-handed masturbation. Further cleaning of rifle. Studying the mail order philippine bride catalogue. Further masturbation. Planning a marine's first meal on return home. Imagining what a marine's girlfriend and her man Jody are doing in the alley or in a hotel bed.

-Jarhead

I recently joined a facebook group called "Sometimes you be like...damn!" I'm assuming the word "damn" suggests a formidable feeling of overwhelming dissapointment, anger, or even an expression of bad luck. So with this in mind, I give you a few archetypes of when sometimes I just be like..."damn"

When you're driving down the street and you see that gas prices are currently $2.75 and you shit your pants...you be like "damn".

When you're leaving a lecture early and walking up the stairs to exit and you trip causing your 300lb backpack to fly over your head as you fall forward...you be like "damn".

When you're sitting in English class senior year high school and your teacher reads aloud your personal blog in which you called the teacher an "anal bitch"...you be like "damn".

When you purchase two large tubs of chocolate covered raisins because they were only 2 for $5 and you eat them in one day...you be like "damn".

When you go to a restaurant with your brother-in-law and sister while a bit tipsy and on your way to the bathroom try to pivot around a waitor standing in your path and you trip in front of everyone...you be like "damn".

When you're singing along to Lauryn Hill in the car while sitting in traffic and the two girls in the car next to you laugh...you be like "damn".

When you're dusting off your ceiling fan and a one inch thick streamer of lint touches your tongue...you be like "damn".

When one of your favorite musicians (Imogen Heap) is coming to Austin and Dallas, but you find out it's during finals week...you be like "damn".

When Alex Carter calls you at 2:30am obviously inebriated and wanting to talk about how my weekend was...you be like "damn". No...I be like "BITCH I'M SLEEPING!"

Ah, that felt good to get those "damns" out of my system. So how was your weekend, everybody? Wait, I just realized nobody will answer that. Mine was quite good, as usual. I think any day that I get to sleep in until 10am is a good day for me though.

I did the typical Friday deal by eating out at a Mexican Restaurant with L&K. Kevin split off to hang out with some SMU buddies while Laura and I watched Brokeback Mountain. Well, actually she fell asleep after 20 minutes or so. Last night I was invited to my friend Jordan's 21st birthday party at the Main Event in Lewisville. Just imagine Laser Quest, a bowling alley, a bar, mini golf, a pool hall, and an arcade combined and that's what Main Event is. Here are some pictures from the weekend...enjoy:

Laura was trying to pose funny with Riley, but it just ended up looking like she was urinating on his face.


Riley's inner drag queen comes to the surface. He enjoys wearing womens' underwear. I support him in all his decisions.


Laura's delicious salad at Taco Diner.


Maybe we shouldn't have sat outside when a cold front was blowing through...


I look stoned...but I'm not. "Crack is whack", as Whitney Houston puts it so elegantly.


Ha.


I know it's blury...but I was tipsy and it was extremely windy. Forgive me.


My current desktop background...I rule.


Riley also enjoys Apple Pie a la Cold Stone ice cream...bitch tried to eat the whole thing.


At Main Event with Jordan and friends


Laser Tag! We had this creepy middle schooler on our team that took the game way too seriously. Bitch thought he was a strategist by telling us where to stand and shit. I just ran around and screamed like a girl.


I love these things. I put the setting on "women and kids" thinking I'd hit the highest point, but I failed. And I lost my dignity. PS: yes, I rocked the same shirt two days in a row...suck it!


Jordan's "first" drink ever...


Grant and Samantha


Shooting hoops...remind me never to play that game again. I apparently suck at all sports. Except swimming...but I doubt they had a pool at Main Event.


That's all I got, homies...laters for now!