Patrick Does New York: Day 1

Lee: I'm your secretary.

- Secretary

Rather than wasting my time typing out a lengthy and detailed description of my adventures in New York City, I'll just narrate along with the pictures I've taken from the trip.

The plane ride was surprisingly quick. Laura kept herself occupied with her unnecessarily large Sudoku book and I read a little Stephen Chbosky. As you can see, I was giddy with excitement.


Before we left, my mother felt it necessary to bombard me with all of her anxieties about our trip including our "naivety" of a place she hadn't visited since the 80's. She was even worrying about our inability to hail a cab. Apparently she doesn't trust her 27 year old daughter and 20 year old son to hold their hands in the air. To her relief, there was a line-up of cabs waiting to pick up passengers at the Laguardia airport in Queens and the cab driver did not rip us off or try to kill us.


In the cab on our way to the Marriot Marquis in Times Square. (I had originally posted that we were staying in the Hilton, but I was mistaken)


This was our view from the 17th floor. No joke.


I'm pretty sure I spent most of the time in our hotel room googling over the view of Times Square.


And just in case you don't believe me:


Laura unpacking her ginormous suitcase.


We met up with Kevin in the hotel room. (He arrived a day before us for his psychology conference) We took a friend's reccomendation and booked a reservation for dinner at Sushi Samba in Greenwhich Village. It was delicious but a bit pricey. The best part was when the host saw my name on the reservation list and thought I was Patrick Leonard, a semi-famous music producer and film composer. I should have played along to get a free meal.


Laura's new best friend, her T-Mobile Sidekick.


After dinner we took a walk through Greenwhich Village and visited Madison Square Park...which turned out to be really creepy and full of shady people. One homeless guy approached us and wanted to "smoke some ganja" with us and then proceeded to sing songs about basketball and follow us. Laura, who had a glass of wine too many, kept provoking him and I thought we might die. But we didn't. We quickly hopped in a cab back to Times Square.



Times Square is great and fun to look at, but it's also a tourist breeding ground and is almost impossible to walk through because of the huge amounts of high schoolers wearing "I heart NY" tshirts.



sex.


Back to the hotel for some zzzzz's.


Day one was fantastic and the next 3 were even better. Keep checking for a Day 2 update. Laters for now!

A No Good, Very Bad Day.

No movie quote today. Apologies.

I'm currently posting in the UNT computer lab in order to update my reader(s) on my yesterdays. Finals began this week, so I should have realized what a mob scene the library would be. I just spent the past two hours in the hot-as-hell catacombs of the library reading about Queer Theory and Audience Reception for my Film Analysis exam tomorrow. I chose to study at the library because otherwise I'd be sprawled out on my bed watching marathons of Little People Big World and playing with chewed-up wads of Mike & Ike candy. I'm hopeless.

The library wasn't much better since I kept getting distracted by the sounds of college students in their PJs shuffling on the carpet, the sound of pages turning, keys typing and that familiar tune that Windows computers play when you sign on.

Oh yes. Did I mention I'm typing this from the school computer lab because my internet has been out for almost 14 days? The apartment complex is apparently testing my sanity by taking as long as possible to fix equipment that was damaged from a storm we had two weeks ago. How convenient this happens during finals week. I hate coming to this computer lab. I can't even use the computer without my neighbor conspicuously leaning over to see my facebook profile or read my e-mails. Fuckers. I hope the person next to me isn't reading what I'm typing right now. (Yeah. I'm talking to you, person next to me)

I titled this post A No Good, Very Bad day because it summed up the 24 hours preceeding my trip to New York City fairly well. I'll make a list of my accounts:

1) Let's star with the storm that blew threw Denton two weeks ago. Around dinner time on Tuesday I thought it'd be a good idea to go get some delicious Taco Cabana for dinner. I was aware of the rain, but it wasn't until I was in my car and on the streets when I realized that I shouldn't be driving. The streets were straight up flooded with rushing water. It was unable turn around so I made the stupid decision to drive through three areas of deep-ass water which, in return, fucked up my hubcap.

2) When I finally made it home alive from my car (boat) trip, the power was shut off. Big deal. "It'll come back on soon", I said. But it didn't and I spent the entire night and next day without electricity. It's fun to cut yourself shaving in the dark. It also gets really hot in your room at night without air conditioning.

3) When the power was fixed the next day, my internet was still down. I didn't really care much since I was leaving for NYC the following day. (But it's still out, as I said before)

4) Since I missed a delicious dinner at TC's the night before, I figured I'd drive to Subway for a bite to eat. When I went to purchase the food, my debit card didn't work. Mom called me right after I left to inform me that somebody had stolen the card number and charged ridiculous amounts of money (that I don't have) onto it, causing the bank to put my card on hold. So now I didn't have an active debit card and I was leaving for NYC the next day. Yipee.

5) Right after I found out my card didn't work, I walked out to my car in the Subway parking lot only to see a man putting a note on my car. He informed me that he bumped my car and left a "mark" (a euphemism for dent and scratch).

6) And to top off my wonderful 24 hours, my toilet broke before I left for Laura's. And no, it wasn't because I took a huge sloppy dump. Although that would be really funny. And smelly, I would assume.

I'm doing great now, but I'm surprised losing my number one means of communication to the outside world hasn't caused me to kill somebody in their sleep. I can't even read Dlisted! The horror!

My trip to NYC was incredible and surreal and overwhelming and stupefying and awakening and all the things you'd imagine it to be. But I'll have to wait until I come home to San Antonio to post about it since I can't load pictures onto these ancient computers at UNT. Keep checking for an update. It will be here soon. Good luck with finals, everyone! Laters for now.

And Fuck You For Saying So...

Ms. Norbury: [after implying that an elderly biker is her boyfriend] I'm kidding. Sometimes older people make jokes too.
Damian: My grandma takes her wig off when she's drunk.
Ms. Norbury: Your grandmother and I have that in common.

- Mean Girls

Happy Friday the 13th! To celebrate I'm blogging and watching a Blowout marathon on Bravo. Jonathan Anton, the star of the show, is a stupid twat cry baby that should go sit on a rusty knife. If you've ever watched the show you know what I'm talking about.

It's been a while since I last posted. I've been terribly preoccupied with more important things. Things like cleaning out all the empty Little Debbie boxes from my closet. Things like scraping dried eggs off the kitchen counter left by my roomate. Things like researching film studios in the Dallas area for a summer job. Things like staring blankly at my calendar and waiting until April 26th when I leave for New York City!

That's right. In 13 days Laura and I will be flying up to NYC to meet up with Kevin at the amazing Hilton Hotel in Times Square. We're still not quite sure all the things we want to do, but I think we're in agreement that we aren't going to be too touristy. Laura just wants to go for the shopping. I just want to go for the experience. The last time I went to NYC was in high school with a huge group of band nerds and chaperones. Everything was so rushed and fleeting that I barely had any time to actually soak in the city. This time will be different. Even if Conan did get cancelled. Bastards.


I went and saw the movie Grindhouse this monday. I wasn't really excited to see it, but I figured it was worth a look. The concept was really unique and anything with Tarantino's name on it is probably going to be good. Quentin is a fucking nutcase but his movies are so inventive and incomparable. Let me just say that I haven't had so much fun watching a movie in a long time. The concept Grindhouse is to duplicate the old 70's exploitation films that played in grindhouse theaters. You know...those old campy movies that exhibit a lot of gore and sex.

It consists of two full-length features: Planet Terror (by Robert Rodriguez) and Death Proof (by Quentin Tarantino). In between the two features are trailers for other exploitation movies that don't actually exist directed by other famous directors. All three hours and 11 minutes are totally worth it. My favorite feature was Death Proof but Planet Terror is far from bad. I'm not one to walk out of a movie and be like, "Yeah man, that was fuckin' badass!" but that's what I was doing. I wanted to like...high five everyone when I left the theater and then go jump my car off a huge ramp. Go see it. And pee before you watch it.







Here are some pics from last weekend:

The family was in town for Easter weekend. We went to Mi Cocina for dinner on Friday. Mom looks excited.


Mis hermanas


The family, minus dad who was taking the picture.


My buddy Jordan turned 22 and had a party on Friday.


Licking the cake knife. Does that make you as horny as me?


Somebody threw a dart and it hit a fucking button.


Scotty P's for lunch on Saturday.


Laura is excited and Kimberly wants to kill someone.


Mom's strawberry cake. She turned 32.


My best friend!!....and Kimberly.


He's smart.


We met up with our cousins at Fireside Pies in Plano. I'm not sure what Laura is doing in this photo.


It took me a few minutes to stop laughing at this picture.


My cuz Thomas and Kevin (wearing my glasses)


Twats


Bigger twats


Mom and her b-day gifts.


Laura has coined the phrase "It's all about me" ever since the time she had surgery and I tried to steal the attention she got with my sore throat. She found this t-shirt online and ordered it.


Kevin and Laura cook us an Easter lunch.



Laura makes herself apparent in a very subtle way.


I may not be posting until I return from NYC! Laters for now!

Shoegaze

The Bride: Wiggle your big toe.

- Kill Bill

Ah, Mondays. Everyone says Monday is the worst day of the week. Not for me. I particularly hate Wednesdays. Today is pretty dreadful though since it's the Monday after spring break. I can't say that I had a great spring break because then I'd be lying. Not only was it the shortest feeling break ever but my mother managed to turn it into "Dr. appointments week". I feel discouraged and jealous when I look at everyone's cruise or beach pictures on facebook. God, I'm such a defeatist.

A few unfortunate things occured over the break. I guess the one that stands out the most is the phone call I receieved from the Conan O'Brien ticket office in New York informing me that the show I had booked tickets for is now cancelled. Just my luck. Something like that would happen to me. My calorie intake over the week was not something I'm proud of and would probably disgust even Kirstie Alley. I'm determined to get back in the gym and start running off all the rubbish I've consumed and even made sure to buy healthier groceries today. But as I'm ferociously shoveling handfuls of reduced fat Cheez-Its into my mouth, I'm feeling as though I'm missing the point of healthy eating.

Before spring break I made an impulsive decision to buzz my head. I just woke up and said, "Fuck it. I don't want hair." And I didn't seven hours later. It's pretty liberating not having to do or even look at your hair everyday. Also over spring break I got new frames for my glasses so I look a little different. Mom and Dad aren't too thrilled with my new look. Mom thinks I'm trying to emulate the other film students by looking trendy. Apparently I'm not allowed to change anything in my life without an explanation. My dad thinks my glasses are nerdy and asked me if they "came with a pocket protector" to which I responded, "No they don't. But do your glasses come with a medicare plan and viagra?" He didn't laugh. I did.

Here are the pictures from spring break:

Trendy film student


I love taking pictures of my parents looking miserable.



Kim, Sarah and me at La Fogata


Party at Alex's boyfriend, George's house!


Boxhead is a fun game.


Party at Mary's place.


Kimberly's cat, Moses. He's the shit. Although I still like Riley better.


Chili's with friends



Starbucks with Alex on my last night in SA. I like making up fake names when they ask what to write on the coffee cup. This time I was "Don".


Thank god for Allie and Emily. They saved my spring break from being utter hell by throwing a party in Austin! "Cheers to Patrick's new hair!" This is at like 1pm. We don't waste any time getting started.


We went shopping for the party. Emily bought the beer, and Allie bought the food. When we were in line, the cashier asked for all three of our IDs since we were with Emily. Well Allie and I are underage and they had to take the beer back! "What if we sat in the car?", I asked. "I already saw you", the cashier responds. Bitch.


Buuut we got the beer at another store.


All this plus a huge cooler of Sex Panther punch. It was all gone before the night was over.


Boxheads


After dinner at El Rancho. Deliciousness.


Allie asked me to make signs to post around the house for the party. This is the sign for the Sex Panther punch. Do you like my drawing?


Party People






Laters for now!