Shoegaze

The Bride: Wiggle your big toe.

- Kill Bill

Ah, Mondays. Everyone says Monday is the worst day of the week. Not for me. I particularly hate Wednesdays. Today is pretty dreadful though since it's the Monday after spring break. I can't say that I had a great spring break because then I'd be lying. Not only was it the shortest feeling break ever but my mother managed to turn it into "Dr. appointments week". I feel discouraged and jealous when I look at everyone's cruise or beach pictures on facebook. God, I'm such a defeatist.

A few unfortunate things occured over the break. I guess the one that stands out the most is the phone call I receieved from the Conan O'Brien ticket office in New York informing me that the show I had booked tickets for is now cancelled. Just my luck. Something like that would happen to me. My calorie intake over the week was not something I'm proud of and would probably disgust even Kirstie Alley. I'm determined to get back in the gym and start running off all the rubbish I've consumed and even made sure to buy healthier groceries today. But as I'm ferociously shoveling handfuls of reduced fat Cheez-Its into my mouth, I'm feeling as though I'm missing the point of healthy eating.

Before spring break I made an impulsive decision to buzz my head. I just woke up and said, "Fuck it. I don't want hair." And I didn't seven hours later. It's pretty liberating not having to do or even look at your hair everyday. Also over spring break I got new frames for my glasses so I look a little different. Mom and Dad aren't too thrilled with my new look. Mom thinks I'm trying to emulate the other film students by looking trendy. Apparently I'm not allowed to change anything in my life without an explanation. My dad thinks my glasses are nerdy and asked me if they "came with a pocket protector" to which I responded, "No they don't. But do your glasses come with a medicare plan and viagra?" He didn't laugh. I did.

Here are the pictures from spring break:

Trendy film student


I love taking pictures of my parents looking miserable.



Kim, Sarah and me at La Fogata


Party at Alex's boyfriend, George's house!


Boxhead is a fun game.


Party at Mary's place.


Kimberly's cat, Moses. He's the shit. Although I still like Riley better.


Chili's with friends



Starbucks with Alex on my last night in SA. I like making up fake names when they ask what to write on the coffee cup. This time I was "Don".


Thank god for Allie and Emily. They saved my spring break from being utter hell by throwing a party in Austin! "Cheers to Patrick's new hair!" This is at like 1pm. We don't waste any time getting started.


We went shopping for the party. Emily bought the beer, and Allie bought the food. When we were in line, the cashier asked for all three of our IDs since we were with Emily. Well Allie and I are underage and they had to take the beer back! "What if we sat in the car?", I asked. "I already saw you", the cashier responds. Bitch.


Buuut we got the beer at another store.


All this plus a huge cooler of Sex Panther punch. It was all gone before the night was over.


Boxheads


After dinner at El Rancho. Deliciousness.


Allie asked me to make signs to post around the house for the party. This is the sign for the Sex Panther punch. Do you like my drawing?


Party People






Laters for now!

Spring Fever

Bo: There's a monster outside my room. Can I have a glass of water?

-Signs

This weekend I was one of the many people who made the movie 300 into the blockbuster it's now become. What was it? $70 million in one weekend or something? Ridic. Whenever a big movie comes out, the film students in my classes always end up talking about it so I saw 300 in order to participate in the conversations come Monday. My theater ended up being a big circle jerk of frat guys, gore hounds, and fanboys -- all practically drooling over every second of the movie. While I will admit that the movie is particularly cool looking, that was about all it had going for it. If I had to sit through another minute of slow motion shots or actors screaming every one of his lines, I was going to blow chunks in the aisle. This movie is terribly self-indulgent. "Hey everyone, look how cool it looks when we make this naked chick dance in slow motion for five minutes. Give us money!" As expected I showed up to class this week where every film buff who saw it was jerking off to the thought of the movie and insisting that our professors see it. I am sick. But apparently I'm the only one who found this movie to be a pile of shit. Oh well.

Look at me! Look at me!


After apartment hunting for one-bedrooms last Friday, I found a great new place to live for the fall. Today I went and signed the lease. It's a bit further from campus than I'd like but I'll deal. Hooray for me. Now I have to wait five months to move in. Fuck me. (Below is a picture of their pool)


I've spent all week bummed out since UNT has decided this year to make our spring break different than EVERY other fucking school in Texas. All of my plans were basically shat on. But I am leaving for home in two days and I'm still excited for the most part. I'll still get to see Alex, Mary, and Brittany and will be visiting Austin to party which is always a good time. I'm sure I'll have more to post about when I get back from break.

I've spent all day in the library studying in their stifling study cubbies and writing "the person in the cubicle next to you is masturbating" on the wall. So I'm tired and am ending this post here. Enjoy these pictures from the last week or so.

HALLELUJAH! On my way to Laura and Kevin's house.


Our friend Barbara moved to Canada but came back sooner than expected so we met her for dinner!


Laura wanted me to post this for her myspace.


I met my new friend Jessica in spanish class. She makes me laugh. She also invited me to her birthday party. (She's wearing the red ribbon)




Do you want to be my friend?!


Laters for now!

Speaking in Clichés

Ruth: Why would God take someone's son? In the one moment in their whole lives they were not able to be with him? What kind of message is that?
Reverend: I don't think it's helpful to think of it as a message to you.
Ruth: Why'd it happen that way? Unless there really is no God.
Reverend: It's natural to be angry. But maybe it's best to view God as a light through this dark time as opposed to seeing him as the cause of it.
Ruth: God is an ASSHOLE!
Sarah: Yes, God is a huge asshole! And I fucking hate him for this.
- Six Feet Under

I completely forgot to mention the Oscar's on my last post. Here's a summary of what was great, and what was a let down:

Great:
- Ellen hosting. Who doesn't like Ellen? Seriously.
- Alan Arkin beating Eddie Murphy for best supporting actor. Were they seriously going to give an award to Eddie for playing himself?
- Pan's Labyrinth being the second biggest winner of the night
- Babel winning best score
- Will Ferrel, Jack Black, and John C. Riley's musical number.
- Those weird dancers that make shapes
- The out-singing battle between JHud and Beyonce.

Suck:
- Babel losing best picture (although The Departed was excellent)
- JHud winning best supporting actress. That category is now a joke. She needs a Grammy or Tony...not a fucking Oscar. Should've gone to Rinko Kikuchi.
- Celine Dion's horrible song
- Eddie Murphy leaving after he lost his award. Sore loser!
- Children of Men not winning shit. It deserved much more!


While on the topic of movies. Here are two you should see:

David Fincher's Zodiac was exactly what I thought it'd be -- and that's a good thing. You could teach a class on his movies. Fuck, you could teach a class on just one of his movies. The cast was great, the direction was great, it was scary, it was intense, it was interesting. It was a bit long, but if you're into the movie it's hardly noticeable. Just a perfect movie.





A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints is an indie film that I had read about months ago but never saw in theaters. I rented it this weekend and it was a complete surprise. It's a true story about Dito Montiel (Robert Downey Jr.) who goes home to Queens after a fifteen year absence to visit his ill father who he left on bad terms. His story is juxtaposed with adolescent memories of family, race, gender, sex, coming of age, violence, and wanting out. Shia Lebeouf (from Disney's Even Stevens) plays Dito as a teen and is seriously good. He's a terrific young actor. How do you go from Even Stevens to heavy indie shit? Props to him.





On a sidenote: I booked tickets to see Late Night with Conan O'Brien on April 27th! The trip to NYC itself is enough, but now I get to see my idol in person! On one of her shows, Ellen talked about how she has a life to-do list. If I had one, seeing a taping of Conan would be in the top ten. Suck it!


Laters for now!

God, Guns, and Guts

[A drunken Claire sees somebody's SUV with a "Support Our Troops" bumper sticker]
Claire: Support our troops? What a bunch of bullshit.
Driver: Miss, I don't know what you want me to do.
Claire: Why don't you try driving something that doesn't require so much gas if you're so fucking concerned.
Ted: Let's go inside, Claire. Sorry.
Claire: Yeah, we wouldn't want to offend anybody while they're supporting our troops.
David: Claire, shutup!
Claire: Dozens of fucking Iraqis are still dying every day. The whole world hates us for going in there in the first place, and terrorists are still going to be blowing shit up in this country for the next hundred years and the best thing she can think to do about it is to put a sticker on that enormous shit box?! Did you know they still bring the wounded soldiers back at night so the press can't even film it and nobody sees? Americans are still getting FUCKED up every day and they don't even tell us. And it's aalll so you can put gas in this enormous fucking car! I hope everyone is feeling really FUCKING AMERICAN!!

- Six Feet Under

Hooray for another uplifting Six Feet Under quote! For the record: every movie/tv quote I post isn't necessarily a direct reflection of my attitude toward things. I just really liked that scene in the show.

I spent all weekend writing an analysis paper on what makes the movie Being John Malkovich a Spike Jonze movie. I realized quickly that maybe I shouldn't have picked a movie that was so convoluted. Guy hates life. Guy falls in love with coworker. Guy discovers portal in to John Malkovich's head. Guy's wife decides she's a man after entering the portal. Guy's wife and coworker fall in love. Guy kidnaps wife. Guy takes over John Malkovich's body. Etc. Etc. That's just the first half of the movie. I love that movie though...and Spike Jonze is quite possibly my favorite director of all time. My professor better fucking give me a decent grade.

Speaking of good movies, I watched this movie called The Dead Girl. It was excellent. View the trailer here: http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/thedeadgirl/ The clues to a young girl's murder unfold as the lives of unrelated women begin to intersect. Every single castmember in this movie is incredibly convincing. My favorite actress, Toni Collette steals the movie even though each character has about the same amount of screen time. Check it out when it's on DVD. Chances are it's not playing anywhere near you.





For some reason my E! Channel got replaced with IFC (indie film channel). I was kind of glad it happened though because I was able to watch the Indie Spirit Awards hosted by one of my favorite people in the world: Sarah Silverman. She's not necessarily everybody's cup of tea, so to speak, but she somehow managed to own the stage. She hosted last year and was equally funny. "I took my boyfriend to see Brokeback Mountain with me. He had to shut his eyes during the gay sex scene. He's not homophobic at all...it's just it's the only way he can cum." This year she spent a full minute discussing how she wanted to fuck her favorite cheese in the "cheese pussy". Immature? Yes. Funny? Absolutely. If you haven't seen her standup, check it out. It's basically social commentary drenched in satire. Her new Comedy Central television show airs Thursdays at 9:30pm central.


Things that made me laugh this week:
- The guy running on a treadmill next to mine at the rec tried to take a swig of his bottled water only to spill it all over his face. I laughed conspicuously and didn't feel bad.

- While watching Being John Malkovich, I choked on a Milk Dud. After panicking for a good four seconds, was able to cough it up and laugh at how stupid of a way that would be to die.

- I got distracted from writing my paper by an ant that I quickly made friends with. I named him Pierre and let him crawl on my finger. Then I crushed him and felt really bad.

- I talked to Alex on the phone for a good 30 minutes yesterday. We still talk about things that happened in high school that were really funny. Also, Alex and I talk so much shit, our friends would hate us forever. But we have fun.

- Maybe it's just me, but I really enjoy making faces at myself in the mirror. I made a pig face that made me laugh so hard I teared up. I wonder why I don't have friends.

- While talking to my sister on the phone, she informed me that she farted.

Laters for now.

Mind The Gap

Sarah: I killed her. I killed my best friend.
Bettina: Honey, you didn't kill her.
Ruth: Of course you didn't. You always tell me everything happens for a reason.
Sarah: Oh, FUCK OFF! Fuck that into this ground! Everything happens for a reason...what a crock. You say there's a reason grandma lost her legs, there's a reason there's a war and tsunamis, there's a reason George FUCKING Bush got reelected? Shit goes wrong because there is evil in the world! Like me.

-Six Feet Under

I frequently post quotes from Six Feet Under. Not only because I think it's the greatest television show of all time, but because every line spoken on the show is thoughtful and profound. Wow, that sounded incredibly ostentatious. But it's completely true! I purchased the season 5 DVD set, and I love it so much I might as well masturbate to it. What?

Over the X-mas break I shot a music video with my sister. I had a concept in mind, and did the best with what I could: a cheap digital camera, a non-actress sister who laughed during each take, a horrible set (my backyard) and a pretentious storyline. You can view it on youtube. Don't laugh:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yIwbu5nf1ts

I'm currently uploading all my pictures from the past couple of weeks. Looking at them, I figured I'd have a lot to post about. But alas, I'm at a loss for words. What can I say? Life is the same. Well, it did snow three times two weeks ago and then was 70 degrees and sunny the next week. Fucking Texas weather. Am I seriously talking about the weather? God, I'm turning into my parents.

I've seen some pretty great movies. Notes on a Scandal was an acting spectacle. Cate Blanchett was solid as usual, but the movie belonged to Judi Dench. My god, this woman can act. She deserves the Oscar. Hellen Mirren was good in The Queen, but trust me: Judi Dench basically shits all over Mirren with her performance. It's the story of a lonely and cynical old schoolteacher with a obsessive fondness for the new, attractive art teacher. When she finds out the art teacher takes on a sexual relationship with one of her 15 year old students, she manipulates and exploits her for her own twisted benefit.





Pan's Labyrinth is a great movie as well. Apparently the nomination for Best Foreign Film wasn't enough for the older couple that sat behind me to comprehend that the film is not in English. They got up and left when the first word was spoken. Idiots. It's a story about a young girl who may or may not be imagining a fantasy world to cope with the world of violence and war around her. It takes place during the Spanish Civil War. A really well made movie.




Here are the pictures I promised. Suck it!

I get the feeling that Riley isn't the happiest cat right now.


Cute


At Shana's 21st birthday party!





Quite possibly the cutest dog (Gremlin) I've ever seen.


A cool surprise to wake up to!



Sushi with Laura/Kevin. Delicioso.


Visited ATX for a party! Emily was showing her me her knee after falling on her face while walking on campus. Lo siento!


On our way to El Rancho...our favorite ATX restaurant.


Allie falling out of her chair.


Dwight Bobble-Head from The Office. So jealous!


Banisch, Martinez, Stewart


Daniel and Matt's 21st birhtday party. Good times.


Where's Moses?


Back home in SA Town. My parents thought it'd be a good idea to eat at the restaurant attached to the Bass Pro Shop. That store was really strange, and I'm pretty sure I was the only Liberal in there. Kim and I made it fun though.


Hot. I felt her up too.


Freakish taxiderm-ied baboon thing attacks pale guy.


The ladies at Macaroni Grill


Mary pondering the meaning of life. And also waiting for her amazing chocolate cake.


Dante, Brittany y yo.


Laters for now!