Concealer

Everyday we're told we live in the greatest country on earth and it's always stated as an un deniable fact: Leos are born between July 23 and August 22, fitted queen-size sheets measure 60x80 inches, and America is the greatest country on earth. Having grown up with this in our ears, it's startling to realize that other countries have nationalistic slogans too, none of which are 'We're number two!'

- Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris

Oh, what monotonous and peculiar days I spend alone in my apartment during the summer. I've been forced away from my friends and family back to the place I loathe so fiercely only to get three more hours of credit added onto my college transcript. It's a sacrifice I'm hesitant to make. Last year I hardly got a summer vacation because of the ridiculous courses I enrolled in. (I ended up getting a B in a health emergencies class that consisted of blowing air into plastic mannequins. The course blew harder than me, I suppose)

With no job and only one course to attend, the rest of the day I spend sitting around and wondering what I'm going to do with the rest of the day. This usually means that I spend twelve hours reading gossip blogs, reading about movies, or wrapped up in my sleeping bag like a burrito and watching Charm School on VH1. And then inevitably forgetting to read whatever chapter was assigned to us in class. However today, while loading the dishwasher, I broke my roomate's plate and ended up having to go to Wal-Mart to replace it: "A merry flag in the Arctic wilderness that is my calendar." I'm starting to think I subconciously smashed it on purpose in order to have a reason to escape my apartment. Don't tell me your summer sucks.

Being at home for three weeks was undoubtedly a satisfying break from the banal routine of college life in Denton. I spent my days in San Antonio hidden in my room from the incessent nagging of my mother and reading some good books. My nights consisted of trying to break the record for 'most times eating at Chili's', cursing and talking about nothing at Mary's house, and developing an unhealthy addiction to Guitar Hero. I recently spotted Guitar Hero hooked up to play at Wal-Mart and stood for a solid ten minutes gazing maniacally at the television, not caring that I was taking the turn of an impatient girl waiting behind me. I think I need an intervention. I may need to join Lindsay Lohan in rehab to break my addiction.


My camera might explode with the number of photos I have stored on it. Here they are:

Before I left for San Antonio I had to make an overnight stop in College Station for Kimberly's Texas A&M Graduation. Fun. This is my Papa at dinner. He's not embarassing at all.


Cheese Fries.


I hate when restaurants make you do something humiliating when it's your birthday. Just fucking sing and leave. Nobody else in the restaurant gives a shit that you turned 23.


Want to know what sucks? Waking up early only to spend 3 1/2 hours of your life squeezed in between people you don't know while a guy reads off impossible-to-pronounce names. Laura feels my pain.


My mom and her mom studying the program intensely.


There were a lot of grandparents.


I love my mom in this picture. We were having "A&M" cake.


We ate at El Jarro's on Bitters/281 for a Mother's Day brunch buffet. My Papa resembles an ape.


Yipee.


Mary redecorated her bedroom. One of her nine cats peed on that seat she's sitting on not long after this picture was taken. I know this because I sat in it.


Swimming with Mary, Brittany and Danté.


Met the Keipster for lunch to give her a birthday gift and show off my NYC pictures.


Note to self: never let Kimberly cut the hair on your neck. She will shave the back of your head instead. Thank Jesus for baseball caps.


Mary turned 21 and we threw her a surprise birthday party!


Anal rape. My cup says "Fucker" because we all wrote our names on them.


Brittany getting caught off-guard and unintentionally posing like Mary Kate Olsen.


Jello Shots


Dance party...well, Mary and I were the only dancers. But that's okay.


This is what you should look like at the end of your 21st birthday party. And yes, that is a snot string hanging from her nose.


No, Mary is not sunburnt. She passed out at her birthday party and people wrote on her face with red sharpie. An arrow pointing to her mouth read, "Insert Cock Here".


Mary buys her first drink at a restaurant....you guessed it...Chili's.


Happy Birthday!


Lame.


Another lunch at Chili's. Jesus Christ.


Eating some late-night TC's after seeing 28 Weeks Later. (which is a fantastic movie...more on that in a later post)


I think if Brittany becomes an actress, she should use this as her head-shot for auditions.


Laters for now!

Patrick Does New York: Day 4

Anna: I've met somebody who seems to be Sean... I really hoped that he was Sean. I *wanted* him to *be* Sean. But I knew he wasn't... The thing is, I'm falling in love with Sean again. That's what's happening. I need you to tell him to go away. Because I can't do it.

- Birth

Here are the photos from our final day in the capital of the world:

The subway station in Times. We were frequent visitors.


Kevin and I woke up a little earlier to visit Central Park since he had not yet seen it. To get there we had to walk through the Upper East Side where all the rich/famous people live. A really beautiful area of New York.


A New Yorker and her dog.


Kevin and I were looking for a good place to eat breakfast and happened to stumble upon this great cafe called Boathouse. It sat right next to a lake and I had the best cranberry muffin of my life.


On a tight time schedule. We had to make it back to our hotel for checkout and ended up getting lost after exiting Central Park...so we just cabbed back rather than wasting time searching for the correct subway entrance. My bad.


After checkout. We had time to spare before our flight left so we munched on some NYC pizza at Ray's in Times Square. Delicioso. I'm not entirely sure why Laura is holding a container of red pepper flakes.


Walking in Times Square one last time.



In the cab on our way back to Laguardia Airport.



Sad faces at the DFW airport.


I love New York!


Laters for now!

Patrick Does New York: Day 3

Charlie: So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.

- The Perks of Being a Wallflower (Stephen Chbosky)


I started off Saturday determined to figure out the subway system and all its complicated-ness. Thanks to a website called HopStop, we were able to receive detailed directions on where to get on and off the trains depending on where we wanted to go. Our plan for Saturday was to explore central park, the empire state building, and rockefeller center.

We popped out of the subway right next to FAO Shwarz and you really can't not go inside once you see it. It was a bit smaller than I remembered, but the toys were just as expensive as the last time I visited. Laura picked up a few gifts for her neice and nephew.



Un edificio afuera de FAO Shwarz….or something.


Horse carriage outside Central Park.


Central Park reminds me of the Pigeon Lady from Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.



A big-ass rock.


More Central Park.


I think this is Union Square. I could be wrong.


A little-person Michael Jackson impersonator performing enthusiastically in the subway.


We subway-ed back to Times Square and walked to Rockefeller to see it during the daytime. When walking by the NBC building, we noticed a line of black Escalades and limos and men in suits talking on their hand-less phones. “She’s coming”, they would say. Laura and I ducked inside the NBC store and waited anxiously to see “her” come out of the building. After a few minutes or so, some rich white family came out of the building and got into the cars. Disappointment! I thought we might see someone like Tina Fey or an upcoming SNL host but instead it was some family who probably paid an insane amount of money to be escorted around the city. After that, Laura and I found a great little sandwich place nearby for some lunch.


Back to the hotel. We rested for a few minutes and then headed off to see the Empire State building, which ended up having a 2 hour wait to go to the top. Laura and I aren’t much for standing in lines, so we opted out and instead subway-ed home.


After Kevin finished his conference for the day we took the subway to Greenwhich Village to eat at this restaurant called The Garage on 7th Ave. If you visit New York you have to eat here. Not only was it the least expensive place we ate, it had great live jazz music, the service was outstanding and the food was terrific.



Walking back to the subway in Greenwich.



In the elevator on our way to the 43rd floor of the Marriott where we had a dessert buffet in the revolving lounge. We had an incredible view of the NYC skyline.


Day 4 coming soon! Laters for now!