Working It Out On The Inside: February 2007

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

God, Guns, and Guts

[A drunken Claire sees somebody's SUV with a "Support Our Troops" bumper sticker]
Claire: Support our troops? What a bunch of bullshit.
Driver: Miss, I don't know what you want me to do.
Claire: Why don't you try driving something that doesn't require so much gas if you're so fucking concerned.
Ted: Let's go inside, Claire. Sorry.
Claire: Yeah, we wouldn't want to offend anybody while they're supporting our troops.
David: Claire, shutup!
Claire: Dozens of fucking Iraqis are still dying every day. The whole world hates us for going in there in the first place, and terrorists are still going to be blowing shit up in this country for the next hundred years and the best thing she can think to do about it is to put a sticker on that enormous shit box?! Did you know they still bring the wounded soldiers back at night so the press can't even film it and nobody sees? Americans are still getting FUCKED up every day and they don't even tell us. And it's aalll so you can put gas in this enormous fucking car! I hope everyone is feeling really FUCKING AMERICAN!!

- Six Feet Under

Hooray for another uplifting Six Feet Under quote! For the record: every movie/tv quote I post isn't necessarily a direct reflection of my attitude toward things. I just really liked that scene in the show.

I spent all weekend writing an analysis paper on what makes the movie Being John Malkovich a Spike Jonze movie. I realized quickly that maybe I shouldn't have picked a movie that was so convoluted. Guy hates life. Guy falls in love with coworker. Guy discovers portal in to John Malkovich's head. Guy's wife decides she's a man after entering the portal. Guy's wife and coworker fall in love. Guy kidnaps wife. Guy takes over John Malkovich's body. Etc. Etc. That's just the first half of the movie. I love that movie though...and Spike Jonze is quite possibly my favorite director of all time. My professor better fucking give me a decent grade.

Speaking of good movies, I watched this movie called The Dead Girl. It was excellent. View the trailer here: http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/thedeadgirl/ The clues to a young girl's murder unfold as the lives of unrelated women begin to intersect. Every single castmember in this movie is incredibly convincing. My favorite actress, Toni Collette steals the movie even though each character has about the same amount of screen time. Check it out when it's on DVD. Chances are it's not playing anywhere near you.

For some reason my E! Channel got replaced with IFC (indie film channel). I was kind of glad it happened though because I was able to watch the Indie Spirit Awards hosted by one of my favorite people in the world: Sarah Silverman. She's not necessarily everybody's cup of tea, so to speak, but she somehow managed to own the stage. She hosted last year and was equally funny. "I took my boyfriend to see Brokeback Mountain with me. He had to shut his eyes during the gay sex scene. He's not homophobic at all...it's just it's the only way he can cum." This year she spent a full minute discussing how she wanted to fuck her favorite cheese in the "cheese pussy". Immature? Yes. Funny? Absolutely. If you haven't seen her standup, check it out. It's basically social commentary drenched in satire. Her new Comedy Central television show airs Thursdays at 9:30pm central.

Things that made me laugh this week:
- The guy running on a treadmill next to mine at the rec tried to take a swig of his bottled water only to spill it all over his face. I laughed conspicuously and didn't feel bad.

- While watching Being John Malkovich, I choked on a Milk Dud. After panicking for a good four seconds, was able to cough it up and laugh at how stupid of a way that would be to die.

- I got distracted from writing my paper by an ant that I quickly made friends with. I named him Pierre and let him crawl on my finger. Then I crushed him and felt really bad.

- I talked to Alex on the phone for a good 30 minutes yesterday. We still talk about things that happened in high school that were really funny. Also, Alex and I talk so much shit, our friends would hate us forever. But we have fun.

- Maybe it's just me, but I really enjoy making faces at myself in the mirror. I made a pig face that made me laugh so hard I teared up. I wonder why I don't have friends.

- While talking to my sister on the phone, she informed me that she farted.

Laters for now.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Mind The Gap

Sarah: I killed her. I killed my best friend.
Bettina: Honey, you didn't kill her.
Ruth: Of course you didn't. You always tell me everything happens for a reason.
Sarah: Oh, FUCK OFF! Fuck that into this ground! Everything happens for a reason...what a crock. You say there's a reason grandma lost her legs, there's a reason there's a war and tsunamis, there's a reason George FUCKING Bush got reelected? Shit goes wrong because there is evil in the world! Like me.

-Six Feet Under

I frequently post quotes from Six Feet Under. Not only because I think it's the greatest television show of all time, but because every line spoken on the show is thoughtful and profound. Wow, that sounded incredibly ostentatious. But it's completely true! I purchased the season 5 DVD set, and I love it so much I might as well masturbate to it. What?

Over the X-mas break I shot a music video with my sister. I had a concept in mind, and did the best with what I could: a cheap digital camera, a non-actress sister who laughed during each take, a horrible set (my backyard) and a pretentious storyline. You can view it on youtube. Don't laugh:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yIwbu5nf1ts

I'm currently uploading all my pictures from the past couple of weeks. Looking at them, I figured I'd have a lot to post about. But alas, I'm at a loss for words. What can I say? Life is the same. Well, it did snow three times two weeks ago and then was 70 degrees and sunny the next week. Fucking Texas weather. Am I seriously talking about the weather? God, I'm turning into my parents.

I've seen some pretty great movies. Notes on a Scandal was an acting spectacle. Cate Blanchett was solid as usual, but the movie belonged to Judi Dench. My god, this woman can act. She deserves the Oscar. Hellen Mirren was good in The Queen, but trust me: Judi Dench basically shits all over Mirren with her performance. It's the story of a lonely and cynical old schoolteacher with a obsessive fondness for the new, attractive art teacher. When she finds out the art teacher takes on a sexual relationship with one of her 15 year old students, she manipulates and exploits her for her own twisted benefit.

Pan's Labyrinth is a great movie as well. Apparently the nomination for Best Foreign Film wasn't enough for the older couple that sat behind me to comprehend that the film is not in English. They got up and left when the first word was spoken. Idiots. It's a story about a young girl who may or may not be imagining a fantasy world to cope with the world of violence and war around her. It takes place during the Spanish Civil War. A really well made movie.

Here are the pictures I promised. Suck it!

I get the feeling that Riley isn't the happiest cat right now.

Cute

At Shana's 21st birthday party!

Quite possibly the cutest dog (Gremlin) I've ever seen.

A cool surprise to wake up to!

Sushi with Laura/Kevin. Delicioso.

Visited ATX for a party! Emily was showing her me her knee after falling on her face while walking on campus. Lo siento!

On our way to El Rancho...our favorite ATX restaurant.

Allie falling out of her chair.

Dwight Bobble-Head from The Office. So jealous!

Banisch, Martinez, Stewart

Daniel and Matt's 21st birhtday party. Good times.

Where's Moses?

Back home in SA Town. My parents thought it'd be a good idea to eat at the restaurant attached to the Bass Pro Shop. That store was really strange, and I'm pretty sure I was the only Liberal in there. Kim and I made it fun though.