A Walking Contradiction

Floris: Welcome to Lestercorp. How may we meet your filing needs?
Craig Schwartz: No, no. Um... my name's Craig Schwartz. I have an interview with Dr. Lester.
Floris: Oh. Please have a seat, Mr. Juarez.
Craig Schwartz: Schwartz.
Floris: Pardon?
Craig Schwartz: Schwartz.
Floris: I- I'm sorry. I have no idea what you're saying to me right now.
Craig Schwartz: My name is Schwartz.
Floris: My name is Warts? [Craig takes a seat]
[intercom beeps]
Floris: Mr. Juarez? [Craig doesn't respond at first]
Craig Schwartz: Oh. Yes?
Floris: Chest?
Craig Schwartz: I said, "Yes".
Floris: You suggest what? I'm sorry I have no time for piddling suggestions from mumbling job applicants. Besides, Dr. Lester will see you now.

- Being John Malkovich

I had actually started this blog two days ago and was really pleased with myself that I was taking the initiative to post so soon. I typically wait a while between each post because my creativity comes in waves. If I feel like I have interesting things to write about, I have to post quick or I'll lose it all and get distracted by something. It's sort of like when a fart almost comes out, but then goes back up into your stomach. It would have felt good to get that fart out, but it's too late once it goes back up. Then you have to wait for that fart to come back.

I get to apply my farts...sorry, creativity...in this film writing class I signed up for. I think I'd enjoy writing if I could actually write well enough. I'm sure all film students have ideas running through our heads constantly for what would make an interesting movie. I do. I just have difficulty writing them. I feel like I can recognize good writing when I read it or hear it but when I try to write something there are walls behind walls behind walls that keep me from actually putting what I feel onto the paper.

We had an in-class assignment this week to write a one-shot scene with no dialogue that described a specific feeling. I sat for a good five minutes without a word written and looked around to see everyone already writing a page of material. After the instructor gave us a two-minute time warning, I managed to scribble something about a girl having a stare-down with a grizzly bear. My feeling was fear. A few of the classmembers anxiously raised their hands to read theirs outloud, clearly having pride for what they had written, but most of it was total horse shit. It was like an all-out adjective war. Whoever could use the most adjectives won. Fuckfaces.

I forgot to mention some of the fantastic movies I saw over the break on my last post. I've rented quite a few that are worth mentioning:

Jesus Camp is a documentary that follows Becky Fisher, a children's pastor, who runs a summer camp called "Kids on Fire" designed to bring kids closer to God and get them fired up about political issues as well. Levi, one of the kids, tells Becky that he became a Christian at age five because he "wanted more out of life". At age five?! I literally watched this movie with my jaw on the floor. At one point they bring out a cardboard cut-out of George W. Bush and the kids, no joke, start touching it and praying to it. What's interesting about the movie is that it can be viewed in totally different ways. I heard Becky Fisher is promoting the movie almost like a promo video for her camp. But in actuality the film is showing us extreme examples of how (not why) not to bring children closer to God. Here's the trailer: http://www.apple.com/trailers/magnolia/jesuscamp/trailer/

Being John Malkovich is one of those movies that I always had intended to see, but kept forgetting about. I ended up renting it the other day and it quickly secured a spot on my top favorites. Charlie Kaufman wrote the script and that's why I love it so much. He can do no wrong. Spike Jonze directs. (He's a brilliant music video/commercial director) I want to be him. Anyway, the movie is fantastic and almost better than Adaptation. (another Kaufman/Jonze film) It's about a struggling puppeteer who gets a job filing papers on the 71/2th floor of an office building. He soon discovers a portal in the building that, if you enter, allows you to spend 15 minutes inside the head of John Malkovich. Rent it!


Children of Men is one of the best movies I've ever seen. It takes place in a futuristic dystopia where woman have not been fertile for 18 years. A man is contacted to help protect and safely guide a young, pregnant African girl to an organization called The Human Project where her and her child will be safe. There are shots in this movie that I've never seen done before. More specifically, there is a 6-7 minute long-shot of an action sequence near the end of the film. Incredible. Do yourself a huge favor and see this movie! It's a shame it didn't get an Oscar nom for Best Picture. Here's the trailer: http://www.apple.com/trailers/universal/childrenofmen/trailer1/medium.html





That's all I've got for now. I'm about to leave to go see Notes on a Scandal because I can't get enough of the delicious Dame Judi Dench. Here are the rest of my X-mas break pictures!

New Year's Eve, 2006. Alex and his cousins were chillin on his front porch. Alex, of course, is too consumed with his cell phone to look at the camera.


After Alex's party, I hooked up with Brittany and Mary for another party.




Doing lunch with Kristen on her last day in SA! :(


To Go food tastes better at night while wearing pajamas and watching MTV's "NEXT".


Pizza and drinks night at Dante's apartment. Good times.


At the Animal Defense League looking for a new pet for Kimberly. Mom was cold, so she wore my jacket.


A blind/deaf puppy. Since Kimberly is a special-ed major, she wanted him really badly.


This is Kimberly's new pride and joy. His name is Moses and he's the friendliest kitten ever. Black cats are also hard to adopt since people are stupid and superstitious, but I think he's handsome.

The Way Things Work

[Claire is drunk and angry/sad]
Claire: Ted, give me my fucking keys!
Ted: I'm not gonna let you drive messed up like this so just...
Claire: [laughing] I never thought I'd know a guy named Ted. It's such a seventees name.
Ted: Funny.
Claire: Now give me my keys.
Ted: No.
Claire: FUCK! [splashes water on Ted] I don't want you here. I don't even like you. You are a fascist, Republican asshole and the fact that I ever even liked you in the first place is total proof that I am totally FUCKED UP about my life! So will you please just go? Leave me alone. You look really stupid right now. Go you fucking freak! Get out!

-Six Feet Under

I was supposed to write this blog like...ten hours ago. But I was really busy with more important things. Things like wondering how many saltines I could fit in my mouth at once, or downloading videos of people falling down on youtube, or dancing in front of my mirror. It seems like a lot of my blogs are about how lazy I am or how uneventful my days are. And that's absolutely true. The highlight of today was when my smoke alarm went off and I stood on a stool for a good ten minutes fanning it with a filthy dish towel. No wait... The ice at the bottom of my cup just got stuck and when I tapped the bottom it all hit my face. That was the highlight of my day.

I've been away for about a month on vacation. There's no way in hell I'm going to write about everything I did because then all you'd have to read is something like: "And on this day I woke up and sat on my ass and ate stuff and then went to Chili's with my friends." No no, I'm too cynical. Or something. I had a pretty great break. I got to see my family and friends, ate at Chili's, got presents, filmed a movie with my sister, saw some good movies, saw some shit movies, ate at Chili's, talked shit about people, laid on Mary's bed, and ate at Chili's. The end of break left a bad taste in my mouth due to an ice storm and my parent's obsessive anxiety about bad weather. Lots of arguing about when or if I could go back. I did, however, made it home alive (obviously) but was quite apprehensive to start back at school.

First off, I don't even have my typical 15 hour schedule since it's impossible to get RTVF classes. One of my courses is some stupid advanced music course I signed up for as filler. I showed up to it on Friday and instantly knew that I was in a class full of music majors. Now, my friends that are music majors are cool and very good looking...but these students were seriously fucked up. The room reeked of music majors. I could see through everyone there. You know, the music majors: so self-involved because they're talented, but yet they suffer for their brilliance. Fuck them. The professors was just as awful. A tall, mousey woman with a really...sad face. She kept saying, "I'm ruthless, I'm ruthless." No, you're just a pathetic twat. Maybe I'm just contemptuous of music majors because music was the one thing I was good at growing up, and chose not to study...unlike these guys. Still, I'll be dropping this class.

I'd rather take RTVF classes where I'm at least familiar with the self-righteous dipshits who talk about every movie they've seen in order to make themselves feels smarter than you. I eat that shit up -- It gives me stuff to blog about. My RTVF professors are great, though. One of them is this middle-aged English woman. I'm a sucker for accents, so this class should be fun if only for the fact that she sounds like Emma Thompson. My other professor is this very intense and flamboyant gay man with a PhD. He's fucking hysterical and everything he says should be published.

*Sigh*. That's enough for now. Here are a handful of pictures from break. These go all the way up until New Year's Eve...and I'll post the rest on a later blog.

This is my first night back in SA. Brittany invited us to the Sea Island Christmas party held at....Sea Island! Mary was strutting her stuff in the parking lot.


Funny Face


Robin, Brittany, Me, Dante and Mary's hand with a beer.


Kimberly and Sarah threw a Christmas party.


This is Sarah's dog, Shelton and he's wearing a jacket.


Out for Becca's birthday at TGIF.


Kristen, Alex and I were eating at Chili's and guess who walked by our table? Mike and Krista! Random! We hung out together the rest of that night.


Playing Cranium Pop5 and drinking. George is shy.


Alex pretending to eat the nasty tuna fish that somebody left on the stove.


I love this picture of my grandmother. It's so funny.


My amazing Aunt and Uncle (the only other liberals in my family) came into town for the holidays. This is what my parents and them did everynight. Drank.


Riley is working it.


Playing Catch Phrase with the family. I screamed "SHIT!" in front of my grandmother.


Our second X-mas tree...mom goes a little crazy.


Aunt Phyllis started crying when my uncle gave her a piece of jewelry she had lost for over a year.


Kevin is going to be pissed that I posted this picture when he's not wearing his makeup.


Kimberly stole my camera and took this picture, so she deserves to have it posted online.


Don't ever fall asleep when I have a camera.


Ha!


Our favorite late-night diner. That's Ross in the background...he also works with Brittany. And by that, I mean he's her pimp.


Playing around with camera settings at J. Alexanders.




Green Jacket


Laura's 27th birthday party!


This is my new shirt that I'm really proud of. "White People Are Crazy". It's true.


Crest Whitening Strips work really well.


I have this thing where if I see a giant inflatable holiday yard ornament, I'll instinctively dry hump it.


We got to meet and hang out with Alex's Mexican relatives. I also got to use my amazing Spanish skills. "Hola."



Kimberly really wanted a pet, so we went to Petco and fell in love with this French Bulldog. She didn't end up getting him, but she did get a pet. I'll have pictures on my next blog.


This last picture is really random, but I love Mary in it.


Laters for now!